The attractive theory

A lady named Abby Wong wrote a beautiful article in The Star that had became the talk of the paper. The piece first appeared on 24th May and till today, someone was still commenting on it.

What  was it about? Well… drum roll…. she seems to think that guys reading in public are attractive. Wow. Why didn’t she write it earlier? Damn, with that insight  I would have read all my novels in shopping centres and bus stops instead of while curling in my bed. Oh, now I can’t bear to count the number of lost opportunities…

Being educated in the scientific method, I decided to put the theory into practice. From that week,  I strolled across the corridors of the hospital appearing to be deeply absorbed in the pieces of paper I was carrying.  When I had free time in the pharmacy,I read a book.

Alas, I can’t spy any adoring glances, nor hear any hushed whispers saying “he is so attractive!”. The only comment was “Wow you are so hardworking.”

So much for Abby Wong’s theory. She had gotten it so wrong.

Let’s try my theory: Girls find boys who cooks attractive. They will positively drool dreaming about waking up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee tantalizing their nostrils and the melodious sound of luscious vegetables being chopped into bite sizes ringing in their ears. They fantasizes going home after a tired day of work to find piping hot spaghetti ala carbonara waiting for them on the table.

The next thing to do is to prove it. So last week I baked a cheesecake to work and share it around.

After getting my word that it was really me who created such delicious fare, here came the questions:

Question 1: Are you still single?

Question 2: What’s your criteria of a girlfriend?

Question 3: Are you willing to consider a girl a few years older than you?

Question 4: Maybe I should introduce my cousin to you.

I swear its true.

It was hence proven that guys that can cook is a much more attractive commodity. But then there’s a problem, we can’t just push a stove into any public place and proceed to cook our breakfast on the spot, can we?

Disclaimer: This is not, I stress, REALLY NOT a piece of self advertising.

Far-far away land

 

Once upon a time there was a commoner who wanted to be prince.

In order to do that he needs to marry the princess of far-far-away-land.

So off he go to far-far-away-land. Along the way, battles were fought with dragons and trolls. Wits and brute strengths were employed endless times to conquer kings and knights.

Each time he prevailed, armed with his strong perseverance and one-mindedness. With that, his aim to become prince became closer and closer to reality.

Nearly four years and 36 arduous task later, he at last reached the castle in which the princess reside.

The king was at the doorstep to receive him.

"Congratulations for getting this far, young man. But before I hand my daughter to you, there's this last test for you to conquer. ... ..."

Right behind the king suddenly the princess appears, in a breathless dress of diamonds and pearls. The commoner was awe-struck by her peerless beauty.

His mind began to drift to the endless possibilities of fun and happiness he can have with the princess in the years to come. He fantasize about going on trips with the princess and whispering sweet nothings to her. He imagined all the beautiful kids they would have, and how green  the faces of his friends would look like when brings the princess home. As the happy thoughts circled in his mind, a smile began to spread across his face.

"..and so good luck, my dear boy, I see this task is very easy to you. Ah, confidence! That's the spirit I like! Hope you pass it with flying colours."

With that he escorted the commoner though a door into a dark room and slammed it shut.

The commoner readied himself for what-ever thing will happen.

Then he realised something important.

Gosh, what was the task again??

GOR The Story

One day Tai Ko very bored. He got an idea: "Lets go see Twelve Apostles in Great Ocean Road!"

He think think think... then say "eh, need friends leh..."

He saw some Tin Soldiers in Geelong. "Adabakadabra! Be my friend and go to GOR! Heh heh heh.."

 

"Blink!" Like  magic, friends began to appear from the Tin Soldiers.

"See what see? Everybody follow Tai Ko to GOR lah."

Evil evil...Steal some money from Mum so we can all go play..

"But, Tai Ko,  very hot leh!"

Tai Ko: "What I teach you? Go eat the sun lah!"

"O... yummy!"

We row, we row, we row...

Yeah reach GOR liao...yahoo!

Wah so beautiful...

Hehe..tickle tickle.. izzit itchy? hehehehe...

Tai Kah Che "Aiyoh, so pretty mah bring home la..."

Wah got lighthouse also...

Waterfall..

and tree-top walk!

"Tai Ko, we all tired liao leh..."

Tai Ko: "Okay lah lets go back to my mansion."

and BBQ!

Yum...such a fun trip!

3 course meal

Saturday special column on food:

A food critic sampled and weld his mighty pen on the flavours of the current exams.

 

Starter:

A nice mix of fresh taste and tried and tested flavours. Too bad the waiter was too hasty to clear the plate before the last morsel was eaten. Or else it would be near perfect. 

Main:

The portion served was fit for a hungry family of four. However, rather ruefully it was not matched by the freshness of the produce. It also suffered from a lack in imagination and not worthy of its exorbitant price. Nevertheless a satisfying feed.

Dessert:

Hmm.. still waiting for it. Seems like a long wait already. Hopefully it will be something to be fondly remembered...

That's what a food critique will say. In layman's term, there was not enough time to finish the starter, which consisted of a combination of fresh questions and past years.

The main was an insult to intelligence because the bulk was rehashed past years. To think I had studied for it till the material crept into my dreams and gave my a sore back for sitting on the chair for too long. Even though I think I can do the questions well, it was just not challenging enough nor worth the effort.

The dessert had not yet been served. But really hoped that they waiter bring it out now and cut this painful waiting. I want my holiday! It had been such a long semester..

Autumn

Winter is an etching, spring a watercolour, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all.    ~Stanley Horowitz

 

I shared the sentiments of the above quote, as autumn is by far my most favourite season of all.

Realising that this may possibly be the last autumn I'll spend in Melbourne, I took the opportunity to take some pics of the beautiful season before it ends.

 

Autumn is always the most romantic season. The rich colour and romance of the season always makes me feel like doing a spontaneous dance in the middle of the park.

It's a season of observing leaves dancing, frolicking and cavorting in the breeze, their flashes of different hues a feast for the eyes.

It's a season of hearing them whistling and rustling, singing a unique tune of nature under the conducting baton of the wind.

It's a season of breathing in the substance of the leaves, with their earthy hint of a summer long gone.

 

Best of all, it's a season of crisp crunch crunch crunch as I indulged in my favourite pastime of stepping on these leaves.

If only there's autumn in Malaysia...

The morning after

That night was never meant to go too far. But it did.

It begin innocently enough, with just the slightest hint of skin brushing against each other. But it grew and progressed, progressed and grew. Seductive glances, longing stares. Beer bottles dropped on the floor, lips met. Undies peeked, articles slipped. Hands everywhere .

Flashing lights and warning sirens popped up in their heads. Isn't it going too far? No. Just this one time.It feels so right. So it happened. The time when two became one. Double happiness. The next door neighbour can't sleep at all.

For he and she, the sleep was blissful enough, but the morning dawned a nightmare.

When's the last time you saw blood? 10 days ago? 15? Not sure? Idiot. What to do now? Panicky and shrill voices echoed across the wall. Gosh, the neighbour thought, they never stopped.

And now frighten, worried and unsure, they wandered around the city like a pair of lost children and ambled into the very first pharmacy with the lights on in the still dark winter morning.

It had to be a MyChemist, because they are the only ones which opened at 7a.m.

The great pharmacist was summoned.

I love my girlfriend very much. But we are too young. You know what I mean? he started, whispered and stammered.

Er...no?

We...we...too young to get married. We..

Oh snap it. We did it last night. And I don't want a baby. How can you help us? She interjected.

So you are after the pill.

What pill?

The morning after pill.

Morning after?

Yeah the pill you take in the morning to cure all the nightmares that happen after you both did you-know-what at night. Just fill in this form.

So they stared at the big white sheet of paper and started to answer the questions.

Q1: Usual mean of contraception: The oral contraceptive pill/condoms/rhythm method/none

Q2: Reason you need the pill: contraceptive failure (split condom)/missed pills/sexual assault/didn't use contraceptive.

Q3: First day of menstrual period? Usual duration of bleeding? Usual number of days in cycle?

Q4: How many times you have unprotected sex during the cycle? Hours since last unprotected sex? Dates of unprotected sex?

Q5: Are you taking any medication at the moment? Do you have any serious medical condition? Had you have a pregnancy test recently?

Oh great pharmacist, we had finished.

Then they stood there watching the pharmacist peruse the paper like school kids waiting for their teacher to check their maths homework.

So you did 7 hours ago. Excellent. Then you have 95% chance of success not getting pregnant. Here's the two magical pills. Take the first one now and the second exactly twelve hours later. Understand? Great. Be more careful next time okay? Good. Please pay at front counter. Good luck!

He and she walked to the counter with the magical pills, knowing their nightmares will be cured. They feel as light at feathers, a bounce in their steps. Their skins started to brush against each other again.

Good morning. Big smile. Beep. Scanned through. That will be $32. 2 miniscule white pills. You want the water also? That will be another $2.50. Money parted hands very reluctantly. Thank you very much. Ouch. That's a lot of rubber.

For more information about the morning after aka the emergency contraceptive pill, click here.

Drug jokes

Studying about drugs can be so boring and tedious sometimes.

Here's some jokes about drugs made up by yours sincerely:

Q: What drugs have the happiest families?
A: Beta-blockers! Because they end every word by LOL (laughing out loud) =D
PropanoLOL, pindoLOL, atenoLOL, metoproLOL, bisoproLOL, sotaLOL etc etc..

Q: Why does taking lisinopril or prerindopril make you do badly at Black Jack?
A: Because they are the ACE (angiotensin converting enzyme) inhibitors!



Know it's lame, but just have to take time out from studying.

By the way, both classes of drugs mention above are very effective in reducing blood pressure and can prevent the heart from working too hard.

Interesting

Facebook is filled with a lot of quirky and interesting groups, lots of them set up for no apparent reason other then just to have some fun.

Just stumbled upon a very interesting group called:

Top 10 Reasons For Dating A Pharmacist.

And the reasons are..

1. Very clean life style and bed style too.
2. We are well trained to listen.
3. Drug Dealers….with a license! Hell yea..
4. Free drugs, condoms, and birth control pills…We play safe!
5. When it comes to measures we are precise, gentle, and got a whole bunch of leaks before reaching the end point! lol,don’t u just love Titration?!
6. We know quite enough anatomy, to know what works and where.
7. We own a variety of lotions, creams and gels, and aren't afraid to use them.
8. We do it on the counter, in the car, and on hospital beds all day long.
9. We never miss a target ;)
10. Love is all about chemistry, right?…Well so is Pharmacy!

Funny and creative =).

Eclipsing the rest

There is now a generation known as the "tweenagers" - kids between 7 to 11 who have mums and dad loaded with money and hence huge purchasing power. But I think the term is more suitable for people in their early twenties who are still a teenager at heart: TWENties-AGERS.

Its hard being in that early twenties age group: definately the most difficult period of one's life. Its the time when you are caught between two worlds, wanting to be related to the "INess" of the younger world and the "Sophistication-ess" of the matured world.

To be savvy nowadays, you need to have some fancy stuffs. Not too glaring and garish mind you, or you will look like a desperate attention grabber. Something subdue and stylish will do.

You definately need to have a good handphone:

An Ipod. Be it Nano or whatever (I want one and May is near..)

Somewhat interesting watch that is not too old looking (think gold watch) or young looking (digital watch).

And perhaps tie pins and cufflinks that make you look more polished and matured.

Unfortunately, you will soon find out that these things are often too expensive.

But fear not, there is a new fashion accessory that is cheap and affordable (and tasty too!)

DRUM ROLL.....

ROLL...

ROLL..

It's the Eclipse mint!

Nearly every Tweenagers have them. Available in four flavours in Australia, the 50 mints are encased in a shiny metallic packaging that oozes class and sophistication.

You can push it up with you thumb with a fluid flick - a move that if practiced perfectly can be as stylish as lighting up a lighter.

They are so damn popular that they got their own Wikipedia page.

Best of all - the mints gives you fresh breaths and a cool soothing feeling in your mouth. And best of best of all - it only cost slightly more than $2 dollars (depending on where you get them). Compare that with the price of a handphone!

So if you are twenty-ish and wants to look cool and fit in with the crowd, look no further away then the checkout counter of your local friendly supermarket.

Ah..Eclipse mint.. if only I am paid to write this.

Green little men

Marianne’s attention was caught by the little green men on the screen of her son’s computer.

52 green little men. She smiled as her mind started to wonder when the computer geeks will begin to develop green little women. Then they can make green little babies.

She cast a glance at her adolescent son, snoring away with saliva drooling on the blue bed sheet. They are so lucky nowadays, these young kids. Their friends are just a click away.

Marianne began to reminisce on her teenage years when she had to creep downstairs after the light had gone out in her parents’ room to wait for the telephone to ring. She had to have lightning fast reaction to pick the phone up before the first loud ring rang out. Then she had to whisper and giggle silently, using a cushion to muffle her voice.

Joe woke up at 2 am and found that his computer is turned off. He hastily rubbed the sleep from his eyes, turned on the screen and began scanning the little green men. There she was, he noticed, relived that the girl was still there in the virtual world.

Amy saw the little green men called ‘Starlight’ appear online just as she was about to sleep. She stared at the name in trepidation, remembering the event ten hours ago when Starlight meet Moonlit in the real world. Instead of a light radiant atmosphere, they blinded each other into oblivion, ended up sitting by the lakeside in silence.

Joe's pointer hovered and turned circles around green little Moonlit, unsure whether to initiate any conversation. He heaved a sigh as the thought of the afternoon replayed itself in his memory. They had such fun online, flirting like an entwined couple and bickering like husband and wife. Yet, in the real world, they behaved like a pair of awkward stranger. The magic failed to transcend the thin line between virtual and reality. Without the green middlemen to carry their words and thoughts, they are like a car sans wheels.

Amy looked at the green men. Starlight was the third guy introduced by the green men whom she had met in the flesh this month with the same results. If only there are green men in the real world, she thought as she shut down her computer.

Joe saw that green man named Moonlit turn a pale ashen grey, not unlike the grey on a dead man’s face. So much for a budding relationship. Life will be so much less uncomplicated if only people can marry and have babies online, he thought, as he clambered dejectedly back to bed.

Random writings

She was the girl that greeted him when he entered the pharmacy, sweet and warm and friendly. He was unsure, unconfident and nervous.

He is a plain looking boy, freckled face, buttoned nose and eyes parted to far apart from each other. He had his brown hair parted left, hold firmly in place by slick gel.

She loved to be in a flowery summer dress, and always insist having her golden hair tucked in place with red ribbons. Her big eyes outshone every other miniscule intricacies of her feature.

For him, the cavernous pharmacy looked intimidating, with endless rows of big bags, jackets and shoes; toiletries, perfumes and vitamins. The bright white light infused an operating theatre like feel to the place.

For him, the whole place looked ready to swallow him.

For her, the pharmacy has a cheerful tone to it, filled with soft background music, warm pastel wallpaper, colourful pills and fanciful cosmetics. There are so many things to tinker with and so many friends to make.

For her, the whole place was a huge playground.

This is the first time he entered the pharmacy without his mother.

He is always Mama’s little boy, ingrained with an innate tendency to cringe and run away and hide when challenged. He always entered the pharmacy tucked under his mother’s swarthy arms and nested around her rotund belly, eyeing nervously around as her mother exchanged the latest gossip with other ladies who are also waiting for their prescription to be filled.

She is an independent little girl, bought up amongst the pills and tablets. Her mother is always busy with helping people around the pharmacy, leaving her to her own devices. She talked with everyone who is willing, and sometimes tends to the dogs left outside when their owner browsed around the shop. Everyone treated her nicely, and her feisty and cheerful nature made her everyone’s favorite little girl.

He is in the pharmacy under the instruction of his mother, who lies listless in bed, sicken with a case of indigestion. He has a piece of hastily tear off paper in his left hand, which he grasp close to his heart, fearing that it would be lost if he is not careful.

As he peered meekly above the counter, fearful of an angry face greeting him, he saw those tresses in ribbons and big beautiful eyes.

2017

Joe put down the house keys, draped his coat over his swing chair, and immediately started connecting to the Internet.

“How are you darling?” he sent the message to his wife, a lady with jet black hair, clear round eyes and dimpled cheeks.

After waiting for a few seconds and eliciting no reply from her, he decided to poke her.

Still no reply.

He then sent her 2 bouquets of roses with the money he earned playing poker at the casino last night.

Still no reply.

He threw a goldfish at her.

Still no reply.

Bored, he shifted his attention to the child which they had adopted, an eight year old golden haired angel named Quinella.

“How your day at school?” he typed.

“Good” was the reply.

Quinella then showed him a word document containing her homework for the day which she doesn’t know how to do.

For the next half an hour, he and she go through the Internet, searching for info on the names of various capital cities in the world. He is only interrupted by the ring of his doorbell, which is the pizza guy delivering his dinner.

After sending Quinella happily off to bed with her homework done (after also sending her some good night kisses), Joe looked around for Wayne, his golfing buddy.

They then teed off at the golf club, and after an engrossing 2 hours, Joe managed to beat Wayne by a single stroke.

Happy, he said goodbye and tried to poke his wife again.

“Yes I’m here darling. How’s everything there in Brazil? Thanks for the roses. And the goldfish. And the pokes.”

“Where were you? Quinella sent her regards.”

“Sorry dear, was playing bridge with Anna and the gang. I won $2000 off them!”

They chatted to and fro for 2 hours, where during that time, Joe had also surfed the news portal for the latest soccer scores and sent birthday cakes to his pals whose birthday boxes popped up on his screen.

He had also added his newly photoshopped self portrait online.

When the clock chimed 1 o’clock, Joe’s eyes can hardly open anymore. He said goodbye to his wife and sent her a hug.

“See you tomorrow at six in the evening!” she said.

Joe turned off his computer, brushed his teeth, took off his work clothes and dragged his tired body onto his bed. He can’t be bothered taking a bath.

Some 30 thousand miles away, a heavily winkled hand also turned off her computer after admiring the 2 bouquets of roses for one last time.

-The end-

Will we be Joe in 10 years' time?