Mirror of my life

I have been sitting in front of my laptop with the blogger home page staring back at me for 3 straight nights and yet nothing came out of my mind.

There's a desire to write something and yet I don't know what to write or where to start.

My mind is in a constant whirl, my life a flurry of activities. I have so many plans, yet in the mumble jumble hocus pocus mess that is my brain, I still have not figured out what I want in life.

I always admired those who have a crystal ball in their head, where they can gaze in and see how their life will turn out in unfazed clarity, and then taking the necessary steps to achieve what they want. Me? I lived in a fantasy world, shrouded by the false pretension that my road in life is already paved in front of me and somewhere deep within me, an inner voice will know what to do when it is time to roll the dice, and somehow, a six will be thrown.

What is my passion? What is my purpose in life? What do I want to achieve? I have no clear cut, definite answers. Right now it is only a mist covered track in front of me, with me stumbling along with blindfold on, hoping with some dumb luck that there is actually a road paved with gold in front of me instead of some rock jaggled cliffs.

I constantly strived to look into myself, searching, looking, figuring out what I really want. What makes me do what I did? What are my life values? What are the priorities in my life? The more I look within, the more confused I became. There are just so many contradiction, so many tangled wires, a split personality even.

I gave up.

Who knows, serendipity may be the key to success in life.

It's all starting all over again...

Tomorrow, it's back to Uni and lectures again.

And it would be the start of the significant journey.

It will be the very last year to spill out all the residual 'childhood' innocence and party the heart out.

It wil be the last year to test my skills in the practice arena before performing in the real world next year.

It will be the last year to make and connect with frineds in Uni - who knows where I or them will be one year from now.

Tomorrow will be the start of an exciting journey.

Can't wait for tomorrow.

Happiness

It is sometimes difficult to know how much you had grown until you see a mirror image of yourself.

It was a quiet and awkward moment. The students are looking shyly around, checking each other up with downcast eyes or burrowing themselves in the various publications scattered around the Uni's foyer. No one made the first move or a bravado effort to speak to each other. The whole place felt like a cold disinfected library.

At that moment, I can really see myself transported back to February 2005, when I first stepped into the Uni. I as quiet and shy, always wanting to say Hello but just cannot move my jaw. I can felt the words at the tip of my tongue but they just stubbornly wouldn't go out. It was nearly two years later before I am quite satisfied with the amount of friends I have in Uni.

Just there and then, I decided to make sure they would not encounter the same problem as I did. I approached them one by one, making small conversations and introduced them to each other. I attacked everyone in the room. Hey how are you? What's your name? Where are you from? Had you met?... At the end of my efforts, the room was abuzz. They are talking to each other, forming small cliques, exchanging phone numbers.

I looked at them across the room, just like sitting in front of the PC watching the animated figurines in SimCity, satisfied with what I had done. That's when I suddenly tasted that ever exclusive slice of happiness. The tingling, emotional sensation you only felt when you achieve something special. The sudden realisation that you had grown up so much since your first day at uni. The moment you are aware that "oh, I just did that." Oh, it was so, so sweet.

Happiness.

Looking back at my exploits yesterday, I am still pinching myself to believe what had happened. I had managed to speak to each and every one of the 36 new International students. I managed to convince and cajole them to join optional orientation activities. I even got to go on stage and share my experiences to these groups of students and have them laughing at my jokes like a seasoned pro.

Damn, if you told me in February 2005 that I can do that three years later, I would never believe you. I would had told you "dream on".

I was so happy that I felt that I got to tell you all this, eventhough you may think I'm arrogant and cocky and proud and whatever. Who cares.

I had just lived my dream.

Happy Chinese New Year

I would like to wish all my friends Happy Chinese New Year. May the year of the Rat brings you wealth and prosperity and make all your wishes come true.

This year I would not be going back to celebrate Chinese New Year in Malaysia - the very first time in my life that I'm celebrating in overseas. There's pretty much nothing going on over here in Melbourne.

Been neglecting the blog for quite a while partly because I had been busy with so many things and partly because I still don't have an Internet connection.

Currently very excited coz will be venturing into something totally new. This will be a very big year.

Will update with what I had done the past month when the connection resumes normality.

Meanwhile, enjoy your angpaus and family reunion. =)

Happy 2008

First of all, i would like to wish everyone a glorious 2008. Happy New Year!

Been absent online for quite a while. Not that I don't want to, but my hands were forced by the stupid online modem that spluttered and died on me sometime back. It is pointless to repair it as we are terminating the service anyway by the end of the month. Just pretty infuriated that the little damn thing got the better of me. Coz I had been planning to smash it to smithereens when we finally have no use of it for all those accumulated frustrations of slow online speed and constant inability to go online. Now it is pointless to smash it. Who want to kill a dead body?

The scary thing is, it doesn't really bother me that I can't go online. Life goes on. Doesn't really missed it. I only frequented three news portal and a few blogs when online. facebook and friendster? Just visit occasionally for fun. Friends complained I am a bad chatter in MSN. I concurred. So nothing much to do online anyway. The only thing too bad is that I can't blog.

Looking back..

It had been a hectic Christmas and New Year week. It was my first (and maybe only) year spending christmas and new year in Melbourne. Lots of parties, going outs and fun with friends interspersed with moments of solitude - reading books, watching dramas and gymming. At last I had a little bit of holiday. Looking back, it had been an fruitful 2007. It was a year I did not do a new year resolution but in the end did achieve quite a bit. Been quite a workaholic year with all those studying, club activities and work.

Looking forward..

2008 will be my last year in Uni. One last year of fun before officially entering the working world. One last year to do everything that can be done in Uni so that will not leave with regrets aplently. One last year in Melbourne. One last year of spending time with current group of friends. One last year of relatively carefree life. One last year before making the big decision of what to do in life. One last year of so many things..

Anyway, for me there's only a few simple resolutions for 2008:

1) Be more spontaneous and fun

2) No procrastination

3) Be fit and healthy

4) Enhance my pharmacy knowledge and experience to the max

5) Try to write a novel

Hopefully it will all work out.

Before ending my post, I would like to wish all others who had a new year resolution: may all your wishes come true. =)

目标

有一天，我决定要爬完世界上所有的山。

因此我很努力地登山。。

我天天对自己说，我能做到的！

我需要坚强！

到第一个山峰，我很兴奋。

那种满足感真的很棒。

为了再尝试这满足感，我更努力前进。

一山再一山我克服了。。

。。

。。

忽然有一天，我发现再没有山好爬了！

怎么办？

Unforgettable

Something incredibly amazing happened today.

I just did a presentation in front of 2 professors, 2 associate professors, numerous senior lecturers, lecturers and fellow students.

Little did I realised that I had to do that in front of them. I thought only a couple of lecturers and a few students will be attending.

It was only a presentation on the summer vacation project that I am still doing. As it was a stress free aka no marks presentation, I didn't really prepare as well as I usually did.

And it was like a bad nightmare when I saw the bigwigs coming into the lecture theatre one after the other.

As I stand in front of the lecture theatre readying myself, I can really felt my legs shaking uncontrollably and had to rest my hand on the rostum to steadied myself.

I was thinking "Oh sh*t, I better leave out the corny lines like 'each medical record tells a story of its own - there are sad compelling stories of bright young people had their lives slowly eaten away by malicious bugs and cancerous cell - giving me a chilling realisation this can happen to me too' from the speech. Which professor will want to listen to that?

Luckily the speech turned out well and this will go down as one of the most memorable and unforgetable experience of my Uni life. And yeah, I did deliver that corny line.

It was quite a humbling experience to have them hear me talk, but in a way, it was quite a moment to be proud of.

How many students can say that they had given a talk where former dean of the college, the head of a uni department and lecturers are the audience?

Pharmacically, it had been an eye-opening 6 post uni weeks for me. As part of the Ambassador programme, I was assigned a mentor to guide me in the field of community pharmacy. He was a real nice guy, and last Tuesday, he got a few pharmacy owners and pharmacists together with three of us ambassadors for a cruise down the Yarra river in his boat. The cruise was amazing, and even more so the experience and ideas shared by the pharmacists. They are all so enthusiastic and clever about their job and so full of interesting ideas for the future. What I had learnt from them in one night is more than what can be offered from the lectures in Uni.

Okay, I was exaggerating.

I had also learnt a lot about research and hospital pharmacy during my vacation scholarship. Priceless. Suddenly, the decision to forfeit a holiday back home for all these seems quite a wise decision.

I will try to resume blogging constantly after this week as I will finish my research on Friday. At last I will be free..

请假

本人正时隐藏在书丛中，逃避现实生活。

因此从blogging休息数天。

如果有些无聊请寻找这个：



五星级的一篇故事。

大陆版的《我的野蛮女友》。

读完后你很有可能也会渐渐爱上有性格的女生。。。

G.C.S.T

Stands for Guys Can Shop Too!

Girls' blogs always have details about their shopping exploits.

So I am doing one for the guys.

Yesterday I went shopping with Wee Loon and his gal Violet at Direct Factory Outlet Southern Cross Station.

This is the aftermath of the trip for me:



In the space of 4 hours, I managed to purchase 8 items of clohtings, each a very reasonable bargain.



Ok. Now lets get to the details of the buys:

First off I got there 2 summer teeshirts from my favorite store Essential Men for AUD$25. Their summer range is alwaz very hip and trendy. I grabbed those two because they are V-necked, hence can give an illusion that my unfortunately vertically challenged neck is longer then it really is.

Then I got these two hooded jackets from Giordano for AUD$20 apiece. I think they are a steal because they originally retailed at AUD$75 each. Actually I only wanted one but can't make up my decision which one to choose. So I brought both. =)



I purchased these two because of their uniqueness and I felt wearing them will be a very daring choice (and because they are cheap $10 and $7.5 respectively). Don't know whether I will actually wear them or not. Maybe I can just donate them to the Salvos later on if I change my mind about them..



I got the jumper for $7.50 from JeansWest which I think is damn cheap. It retailed for $39 last winter. The white jeans is from Oxford, only $30. Quite surprising they have my size because usually the only available sizes for bargains are >36 inches. Gonna keep them for next year. Now the weather is too hot for them.

In the end, our 4 hour trip ended uo with Wee Loon and me spending a combined total of AUD250 on clothings alone. Thats like RM750 in 4 hours. I think it is equivalent to someone's salary. And we did spent a lot of time in the changing rooms too, trying various patterns and sizes, not just grabbing them and swipe card.

Who say guys can't shop?

We are the new generation.

Snapshots of the week

The 9-5 routine is draining my vitality and ability to conjure something interesting to write about. Can't think at all nowadays due to mental fatigue. =(

Anyway, my Sem 2 results will be out tomoro. Just seems like yesterday that I sat for my last paper. Now trying my best to be calm and nonchalant about it. This is the exam I went worst prepared. Hopefully don't score the dreaded C...

Great news today - I am successful in my application as a student mentor next year! Very happy about it. Don't know why I wanted to be mentor so much. Just that I wanted it. And it definitely not to "骗小妹妹 " as some of my friends alleged. =)

Spent the whole of last Saturday finishing a very good Japanese series called "Nobuta Wo Produce". I felt that it was a very inspiring and touching - about how two boys helped a shy girl build up her confidence step-by-step. For someone who is relatively shy like me, this drama really strikes a chord. It also highlight the importance of true friends - how indispensable they were when you are in need of help. Highly recommended.

A scene from "Nobuta Wo Produce"

Other highlights of the week:

Wong Mew Choo won the China Open. She became the first Malaysian woman to do that - and she did it in style, beating three top Chinese shuttlers. Wonder when will she gets the money and recognition ala the lame Hafiz Hashim.

Kevin Rudd won the Australian Election, beating John Howard. Wonder when will Malaysia have a strong opposition party. Voting in Malaysia is like voting the lesser of two evils. Hard to make the call.

Another rally in Malaysia, and another alledged chemical laced water attack by the police - of all people. Now I feel really insecure about going back home.

Met with JPA representative in Aussie - the nice lady said aspiring doctors and pharmacists must go back. There will be a guranteed job waiting. Hmm..

England out of Euro 2008. Nothing to be sad about - they had it coming. Lame coach. Lame players. Now just in a quadmire which team to support for the Championship. Think I will go for Germany. Their footballing style is fantastic.

See you all next month.

Weathered Sailing

It is only in Melbourne that you can get a temperature of 36 degree celcius one day and 18 the next. The hot sun scorching down one day and the cold rain pattering down the next. One day where a shirt is too hot and the next where two is not enough. Truly remarkable.

Thats yesterday's and today's weather here.

Monday saw me sailing. If it was held in other days, it should be extremely fun. The termometer that day read 37 degree celcius. And I spent 4 hour of the afternoon baking under the sun. Lucky I had a tube of sun tan lotion. Or else I would be short and dark. Hardly ideal combination coz to be handsome, you need to be either tall and dark or short and fair skinned.

So anyway, these are some pics that I took that day:


Me


The mast


Docklands


Part of the harbour

It was supposed to be a team builing event for the Ambassador programme, but everyone seems disinterested to move around due to the hot weather. We just lying around idylly on the boat chatting. And once the boat docked, we made a beeline to the nearest ice-cream parlour.

On Tuesday night we had this Ambassador appreciation celebration. Its like the last event of the year for us. The program coordinator got all the bigwigs in Uni and aso our sponsors to come and have a nice time with us. It was held in a bar somewhere in the city, which is nice coz they booked the whole place and wehave free alcohol and finger food. It was an interesting experience talking to all those people, coz the conversation is always punctured by those awkward silence when both parties try to find some common grounds. Guess I need to think of some more topics to talk about next time. I thought I was we prepared. Ah well, it is a far better performance compared to the first event I attended.

Guess I'm still inherently a socio-phobic. Old habits do die hard. But I am good enough to get a free book LOL. This book is actually only for the sponsors who attended that day. Love this book. It's a compilation of stories about individuals who left an indeliable mark in the history of the college of pharmacy. Compelling read.

Puffing Billy

After experiencing quite a hectic week, went out to have some fun with friends yesterday. We went to Belgrave and then Phillip Islands.

We went to sit on the Puffing Billy in Blegrave. In case you are wondering, its a train.

All abroad for departure!


The train's engine

What's so special about this train is that it is 'Puffing', aka running on coal. It's one of those old-fashioned authentic train making all those authentic train noise and with authentic conductor and engineers in overalls - not like the one that now run on electricity. It travels through quaint villages and nice countryside farms and lots of tress and flowers. And you get coal all over your face if you stick your head out to view the scenery and let the soft breeze carass your face. The whole experience felt like being in a time capsule and transported back 100 years.


Train's crossing! Notice the steam being puffed out..


The picturesque countryside.


We all love the train.. (me not inside coz I took the pix..duh)

It was an unique experience - well worth the pricey price tag. For those of you in Melbourne but haven't been to the place before, it's a must go!

A take on life

Life is really too precious to fool around with.

That's what I had learnt after spending a whole week in Royal Melbourne Hospital.

On of my jobs in the research I'm assisting in is to look into patients' medical records and various other databases to piece together what really happened to them after taking a particularly expensive medication. Just like doing a jigsaw puzzle. Which is kinda tedious but fun in a way.

Every medical record had a story to tell. Most of them are sad stories but there are the occasional bright spots. There are some stories, especially on young adults and teenagers which made me feel really disturbed as this uneasy thought of 'it can happen to me, too' kept on resurfacing. They are relatively the same age as me, in the prime of life, when out of the blue, illness struck.

Like this story of a teenage girl who was found to have low white blood cell count when she was going to donate blood. Turned out she got Acute Leukamia. She died one year later. Or the story of a fresh University undergrad. It started inconspicuously enough, with symptoms such as tummy ache and low grade fever. It was cancer, and yes, she died.

It just makes me feel so vulnerable. It really hammer home the fact that life is fragile. It serves as another stark reminder that life is ver very precious. Hospital is also a place where you can get to feel how fortunate and lucky you are to be healthy and well. Eventhough it sounds cruel to the patients, you will appreciate life more when you realised that you are not on drips or in a wheelchair.

On a lighter note, last night I got the chance to attend Swish, which is the 4th Year graduation party in my college for free. There's just one of the perks of being a Student Ambassador (I'm going sailing next week..wee!). I just need to be there to welcome and chat to the sponsors of the event, and help out the staffs when they are short of people. Which in a way is beneficial to me too, coz I get to know more people. The event was really nice, it was an Egyptian themed night. There are sands and sphinx(s) and Egyptian ladies and of course nice drinks and finger food.


Welcome to Egypt..


Sands in front of the entrance. I thought some construction was going on initially. LOL

Lots of people mingling around..


One of the decor.. those are real flowers.

No pix of me coz I had to hijack someone's camera to take my pix.. can only put them up when i got them =)

Another note of interest:


Wherever I go, thirteen will be there.

This is my hospital access card.. it was made especially for me coz it is written there pharmacy student 13.. I always get 13 whatever I do. Lucky number =) Perhaps I should nickname myself thirteen..sounds nice as thats' how Dr House called one of his fellowship candidate. By the way, I just love that show.

A tale of two countries

Demonstration in Malaysia for a clean election. 10 Nov 2007.

Highlights: Water cannons and chemicals doused on protesters. Media cover-up. Interesting you-tube clips.

Contrast this with: Demonstration in Australia for climate change. 11 Nov 2007.





They caused closure of the whole stretch of main street in Melbourne (which is admittedly quite a nuisance). Only a few policemen are seen. And yeah no water cannons. By the way, they have nice music, just like a band marching to and fro from one end of the street to another. Lots of tourists take photos.

The DPM said having street demonstration is not part of Malaysian culture. Point to ponder... What exactly is defined as Malaysian culture? Who should define what Malaysian culture is?

I don't think demonstration is part of Australian culture too or any culture. I don't think demonstration has to do with culture.

The stark contrast is the action of the police and the media. The police here didn't use water cannons and they didn't arrest poeple nor use road-block and get all paranoia. They let it happened peacefully. The media didn't black out any stories. Wonder how those ppl in Malaysia dare call themselves journalists. Muppets should be a better word.

Maybe this is why Australia is a 1st world country and Malaysia is still a 3rd world country trying to play catch-up...

Felt so sad about this.. A lot of people really need to grow up and stop living in a dream.

On another note, today went for a stroll at Glenferrie.



Nice suburb. Lots of shops and Asian and Middle Eastern eateries. For those studying in Swinburne Kuching, this is what Swinburne's Hawtorn campus looks like:



Now I'm on holiday mode. Just borrowed 10 novels and magazines from the library on Friday. Now trying to juggle my time reading and watching Korean drama. Will be commencing on my Summer Vacation Scholarship at Royal Melbourne Hospital on Tuesday. So they will be another 6 weeks of 930-5 kinda routine..

Dressing up

You know it is spring in Melbourne when the horse racing season comes along and the flies comes out to play and you still can see the sun at the unlikely time of 8pm.

Yesterday was a public holiday in Melbourne as it is the Melbourne Cup day - a special day where Melbournians don their best attires and go to the Flemington race course to enjoy the Melbourne Cup horse race.

And unfortunately, I am stuck at another racing course during my exams.

Nevertheless, on my way home from the exams, I still can spot a number of ladies spotted wearing their beautiful spring dressess and fascinators around the city.


Ladies in spring dresses.

And aren't they breathtaking.

I felt that ladies looked very elegant and chic in spring dresses. One of my laments is that a big proportion of the female species nowadays didn't really take the care and time to dress themselves up. I would really like to have more females, especially the young ones wearing a dress more often rather then just putting on those convenient tees and jeans. Beauty should be flaunted and accentuated instead of being enclosed or trapped in some baggy shirt or jeans. I'm sure there is some suitable dress for every lady out there.

I have really no idea why ladies seldom wear dresses. Especially Malaysians. In fact, I think it is easy to differentiate Malaysian gals from others in Ausralia - they are always the one in tees and jeans. I have no problems with that, but I really just hope that more of them wear dresses more frequently because I do sincerely feel that they look nicer in that. Is it about convinience, comfortability, women equality or just plain laziness? Gals are lucky, they got a huge array of different attires to dress themselves in and far more boutiques to shop in. And yes, they got this thing called dress. Yet, they still like tees and jeans. You are only young once, and if one didn't seize the moment to dress up, are there any other opportunities to do so?

Sometimes I do wish that if only I'm a girl...


The ubiquitous and too-convenient jeans

I like the fascinator very much - it is basically something that looked like a head but not a hat that you wore on your head. When worn with a spring dress, it can really heighten a person's beauty. Melbournians are very creative with their fascinators - they come in all shapes and sizes and made from all sorts of unique materials. Never saw this in Malaysia before, but I'm sure if given the publicity, it will soon be in fashion.


A fascinator

Females have a distinct advantage over males in that they have more opportunities and ways to look stunning. But alas, they just don't seize the chance. Come on gals, dress up! Spring is here!

P/s: Yes! One more paper to go tomorrow before the end of the exams and the beginning of a >100 days hols. Tomoro's paper will be my 31st exam in Uni...fancy that.

无题

Writing for the sake of just to write something..

这两年来，发现咖啡成了我在考试期间不可缺少的陪伴。我最欣赏“星星多美国钱”的雪冰咖啡。 此外，哪儿环境挺不错，是温习的好地方。单单这两个星期，我已经在“星星多美国钱”喝了三杯雪冰摩卡。 今天就和道光再度光临“星星多美国钱”，而且拍了几张无聊照片：

“星星多美国钱” aka Starbucks


Another pic of Starbucks Lygon Street

Okay. Above is my pathetic effort to write something in Chinese. Seems it had deteriorated to a point of no return these days.

Lack of postings these days is due to the fact that I had preferentially allocated all my brain cells (esp the memory cells) to learn something about pharmacy. Currently I had finished 3 papers and stuck with two more to come next week.

Recenty found that I am addicted to caffeine - to the point that I will have a headache if I didn't get a caffeine fix in the morning. Terrible. Guess need to slowly wean off coffee after my exams. Been too dependent on it this sememster due to hectic timetable.


Me in Starbucks enjoying my caffeine fix


TK in Starbucks

I will resume updating the blog after my exams. Better get back to my studies now. Absolutely no motivation to study these days...

Sunday commentary on health

I always enjoyed the Sunday paper. It never failed to be a good source of information, especially on health.

The current generation should be called the Generation of Health Freaks. We are just too obsessed with our health - following the latest diet fads, indulging in the newest exercise regimens and devises, and consuming wonder pills to increase energy and lose weights. Admittedly, I am one of those health conscious people. I tried to spend at least a 20 minutes walk daily, go to the gym or for a jog 2 times per week and incoprate more vegetables and fruits into my diet.

These are just some interesting and surprising information about general health that I gleaned from just browsing today's paper:

1) A UK research suggests that a lack of sleep can results in obesity. This is due to the fact that by sleeping less, the body undergo hormonal changes and make you crave for food.

2) The best age to give birth is 34. If a woman gives birth at this time, she will enjoy better health, live longer and have healthier babies. For men, they better start help producing babies before 40 or the risk of miscarriage will be higher.

3) The average males start to lose their hair at 28 years old and start to get grey hair at 35.

4) To slow the ageing process, it is good to eat grass-fed meat, oily fish that is high in Omega 3, eat organic produce and drink filtered or spring water.

There are just so many different information and opinions on how to lose weight or look younger. Even though I do believe some of these theories might have some truth in them - I still think that the fundamental concept for good health is just these simple rules:

1) exercise - 20 mins walk daily and some anaerobic exercise (jogging, swimming or cycling) 3 times per day.

2) food - eat green leafy vegetables, and take less meat and junk food. To lose weight, just make sure amount of calorie intake < amount of calorie output.

Simple. No need any other theories.

Happy Birthday!

Just a note to say a very Happy Birthday to See Hua aka Casper the friendly ghost.

Best wishes and many happy returns for the day!

And for those mired in the exam season, happy studying and best of luck. =)

Corpus Medicum

Today I went to hear an orchestra coz my housemate OWL is performing in it. Besides, I haven't be to an orchestra before in Australia and the $20 ticket fee all go to charity.

The orchestra consist of doctors and medic students and interns. It is nearly 2 hours long and they played music composed by Beethoven and Bartok.

What I found really amazing is how the music from 20 violins sounds so differently from the solitary one that I often hear when OWL is in the mood to practice.

But alas, I still can't really appreciate music. I can enjoy the rhythm but can't figure out the story behind it.

Anyway, it was a nice experience. Nice break from study too, as my exam starts Thursday.

Wonder when they will start an orchestra featuring Pharmacists. Doesn't matter anyway coz I can't play any musical instruments. =P

Political bloggers

According to those political bloggers out there, the current Malaysian government is a rotten lot - full of corruption, ineffectiveness and untruthfulness.

It does make me wonder, is it only the Badawi led government this bad? Or it had been this bad all the while, only that then nobody have blogs to vent their feelings? I do feel that the latter is nearer to the truth.

Another trend is that these bloggers surely but certainly began to put their words into actions and entered themselves into the political fray. Because they felt that they can make a difference. This lead me to wonder, how will they fare while in the hot seat? Will they be able to do better?

Will it be a case of Mean Girls? In Mean Girls, Lindsay Lohan played a sweet innocent girl who managed to knock the most popular but mean and snotty girl in her school off the perch. In the process, she realised that in order to be the most popular girl in school, she became the new Mean Girl.

These bloggers are certainly full of ideals and beliefs that they can do a better job against these perceived unjust and rampant bad governance. I am sure before Mahathir or Badawi reached the top, they have the same mode of thinking too. But politics is always very dirty game. Once you are in the top, you really need to look after the 'welfare' of those loyal to you and be in constant vigilance to prevent other upstart usurping your position, all while trying to run the country to the best of your ability. The harsh reality is that, the view on top is always very different and everyone wants to be there.

Even though these blogs make entertaining reading and I do salute their noble motives of making the government more transparent, something I don't like about these blogs is that they are too hell-bent to prove that the government is bad that they started picking out bones in the egg. Everything bad is highlighted and in everything good, they see a hidden motive or agenda. What they do is only in reverse of the current government who highlight everything good and black out everything bad.

Can someone with ideals really make a difference? I am sure the answer is yes but it does not have to be in politics. Politics is like a meat machine. No matter what kind of meat you are, once you got in, you will come out as mince meat. It can shape the way you think and act, and somewhere in between, you may lose sight of the goal. There are still so many other ways to make the world a better place.