The scarcity and paucity of my writings can sole be attributed to one single demon: work.
Not that I don’t like work. In fact that is an understatement. Actually I loved my job – the adrenaline rush, the calamitous din, the smile at the end of the day – but like the sloughy tar tasty food can leave on your blood vessel – work clogged up whatever impetus and sapped up whatever energy I had left at the end of the day to write. Hence the silence of the pen.
I am writing something now because I am in the middle of my 10 day holiday break. In fact by looking at my blogging trend, you can safely bet that if I had written something, I am having the day off and you can ask me out for coffee. I am currently recharging my battery for a longer journey into the wilderness of Sarawak, while constantly battering and smouldering the urge to go out for another yumcha session.
Going out with friends is fast becoming an addiction. The laughter, the gossips, the coffee till the night is old fueled the craving for more . They are dangerous because like an addict who ran out of more meth, they amplify the silence when you have none. Being alone becomes a torture, staying at home becomes a punishment. But what should we do then, about the saying “enjoy it while it lasts?” Another silly paradox of life.
Can fate be changed twice? But before that, the question asked should be, is the fate you think is you fate is really your fate? Not long ago I was getting ready to go to NZ for further studies, but a sudden afternoon heat and a telephone call later, I ended up in Australia. This time I had a premonition that I will be going to Daro before it became true, but a morning breeze and a brief chat later, I was switched to Mukah. I survived Australia and enjoyed it thoroughly, and would that be the same with Mukah? And of course I will have to live with the constant niggling thought, would I had enjoy NZ even further? Ditto Daro? Really, the path not taken all over again.
Yesterday, I turned a quarter of a century old. For those who have taken the pain to organise and turn out for my birthday dinner, I say a big ‘Thank You’. Thank you all also for rummaging through your whole wardrobe for that piece of pink to wear. Pink is really really a nice colour and you are all really really nice people. =)
Ah, the plain pleasure of seeing English flowing beautifully from pen to paper, figuratively speaking; or from keyboard to computer screen, literally speaking. If only English is a maiden, she will be the most beautiful lady I had even known in the whole wide world.