Sunday, October 16, 2005

About DANCING...

Last nite, I attended a flare dance concert.

Besides being entertained, it also left me with a thing or two to ponder.

The best dancers, it seems, are the ones who totally, fully expressed their feelings and emotions on stage. It is not the beautifully chronographed routines that appeal to me; but it is the pure zest and energy showed by some dancers that fascinate one. Even though his/her dancing bit might be shoddy, as long as the dancer is enthusiastic in what he/she did, it is more than enough to make me appreciate it.

This, I feel, applies to life too. As long as one gives his/her best in life, it is easy to forgive his/her imperfections and faults.

Perhaps I should learn dancing so that I should have an outlet to vent my innermost feelings and emotions. But of course, I need to attend to another more pressing matter before thinking about that: building my self-confidence. It takes courage to go up and express your feelings for hundreds of strangers to see. Hopefully, I will succeed before I live to regret it.

Saturday, October 15, 2005


Roughly translated: girls only love bad boys.

How true is this phrase? This question has been swirling around in my head for the last couple of weeks. All along it had been my rule of thumb to be a law-abiding, rule-fearing goody-goody boy. My record speaks for itself as I never broke any serious or trivial civil or school rules before. I also tried my best to be gentlemanly in my actions and be a nice, accommodating guy. Haha.. and I am still a SAD case: SINGLE, ALONE and Desperate? nah I am still not that desperate…

And as if giving me the answer, I incidentally stumbled across some blogs and other reading materials over the last few days highlighting my current thoughts. The damning conclusion: The good boys will appear to be dull, have no appeal what-so-ever for gals and worst of all, will be taken advantaged of. In contrast, bad boys are a magnet for gals. Their unconventional and rules breaking ways means teaming up with them guarantees a life filled with adventure, unpredictability and spine tingling excitement. Gals will have lower expectations from bad boys as they accept that it is hard for them to commit themselves whereas for the goody-goody boys, lots are expected from them: they are expected to be faithful, considerate, gentlemanly and always behave in a socially acceptable manner.

So do my findings imply that I have to change this aspect of my life in order to change from a SAD case to a HAPPY case? Nah, I still think not. For now. I still hold the belief that in the end, the good man will triumph. But then, one may ask, what constitutes a good man? Who and what marks the line that differentiates between good and bad? Perhaps it is best to leave that question alone and focus on what is there that really need changing. Does the problem lies in me or the outside world? But as said by someone else, it is hard to change the world so it is better to change myself.

How good can a person be? and how good should I be?

I like to make people happy. Making people happy seems to be an innate trait in me. I tried to anticipate and went on to accomplish actions that will make people happy. Seeing others being happy is a reward that is good enough for me; but suddenly it drawn to be that perhaps if I always do things for others than it will only make people expectations about me higher and taking me for granted. Suddenly it drawn to me: am I appreciated? It is not that I expect anything in return from my actions but hey, at least don’t take me for granted. And everyone likes to feel being appreciated. It’s pure simple human nature.

So from now on, please don’t expect too much from me. This is a statement I wish to make. I don’t have the responsibility to accommodate every one of anyone’s whims and fancies. From now on, I will only focus on doing things I am comfortable with so doing so don’t expect me to do things that I dislike. I need to draw the line somewhere. It is perhaps analogous to giving money to charity. I will give, I don’t expect anything in return, but than there is a limit on how much I can give. $1-10 dollars seems acceptable, but at my current level, $100-1000 seems an incredulous amount. And of course it also depends on what charity it is. If it is the one that appealed me, like children’s foundation, I tend to be more generous. Of course there will be accusing fingers of me practising favourism, but hey, that is human nature again.

Thoughts to ponder…
Life is about giving and taking. If someone makes you happen and do you a good turn, pass it on. Appreciate it, and then transfer the happiness to someone else. The kindness should not stop on you. So now, whoever is reading this blog, sit down and reflect, are you taking too much and giving too little from people surrounding you? If yes, you better change your attitude.

For those who know me, please ponder this question: 在你的心中,我占了什麼地位?[Translated: in your heart, what position do I stand?] Please think about it and tell me.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Out of the COMFORT zone

Perhaps my life had been to idyllic all these while. I am getting too comfortable to be comfortable in my life. When you heard about other people relating their colourful life time experience, only then it will drawn to you that perhaps you had been a baby in then cradle for too long. Much too long. This realization that I had achieve nothing much in my twenty years of existence struck a chord in me last year, but it wasn’t till NOW that I have the determination to make a change. It’s time to take a first step into a new journey. It wouldn’t be all roses along the way, but hopefully, there’s a rose garden in the end of the road.

and into perfectionism.
One of the reasons I am writing this blog is to chronicle my evolution to be a better person. When we talk about an Uthopian world we are always relate perfectionism to the impossible. Yet I think in life, perfectionism is possible. Perhaps not in the magnitude of the world but certainly in a smaller scale, let say in a man. There’s always space to upgrade oneself from the current plane one is residing. Sky’s the limit. One can always be better in every field.

The first step.
It is always the first step that hindered the many zillions of bright and brilliant idea from becoming a conceived reality. Like in many chemical reactions, it is the first step that is rate-limiting. If the progression of an idea into reality is akin to a flight of stairs, then the first rung will be at least 5 feet high. Who will climb that? I will.

What aspect of myself do I wish to change?
Well frankly, every aspect. Not that I am not satisfied with myself but as I had elucidated earlier, there’s always prospects for betterment. I will divulge a little bit more of my plans and the subsequent outcomes in the days and months to come.

Hopefully by the next time anyone seen me, especially those who haven’t seen me for a long time, you will notice a positive deviation from my old self. Perhaps no big, sudden change, but small gradual transformation.

A life changing plan had been conceived. And I am going to take the journey to realize it. There’s no looking back. Wish me luck.

Saturday, October 08, 2005


And now...presenting you the blog that i had long been shelving in the back of my mind...
A pensieve of all my thoughts and my two pence's worth on everything under the sun...

The 13 reasons on why i wanted to write a blog...
1) Because lotz ppl are writing blogs
2) Because I wanted to be heard
3) Because I like to talk
4) Because I want u to hav a piece of my mind
5) Because I hav nothing else better to do
6) Because I want to brush up my English?
7) Make new friends?
8) Learn new things...
9) Learning ground to write a novel later
10) Want frenz to kept updated about my activities
11) Want to read what u think of me
13) and of course, because I feel like it.

Thats is for the opening ceremony. Keep your toes in line n if fingers crossed, if my mood is good, i'll update it everyday...tata for now!

P/S: An inauspicious start? Perhaps you might be asking why the unlucky 13 and not other numbers.. well becoz 13's my favorite number..hehe =P