男生不壞，女生不愛。

Roughly translated: girls only love bad boys.

How true is this phrase? This question has been swirling around in my head for the last couple of weeks. All along it had been my rule of thumb to be a law-abiding, rule-fearing goody-goody boy. My record speaks for itself as I never broke any serious or trivial civil or school rules before. I also tried my best to be gentlemanly in my actions and be a nice, accommodating guy. Haha.. and I am still a SAD case: SINGLE, ALONE and Desperate? nah I am still not that desperate…

And as if giving me the answer, I incidentally stumbled across some blogs and other reading materials over the last few days highlighting my current thoughts. The damning conclusion: The good boys will appear to be dull, have no appeal what-so-ever for gals and worst of all, will be taken advantaged of. In contrast, bad boys are a magnet for gals. Their unconventional and rules breaking ways means teaming up with them guarantees a life filled with adventure, unpredictability and spine tingling excitement. Gals will have lower expectations from bad boys as they accept that it is hard for them to commit themselves whereas for the goody-goody boys, lots are expected from them: they are expected to be faithful, considerate, gentlemanly and always behave in a socially acceptable manner.

So do my findings imply that I have to change this aspect of my life in order to change from a SAD case to a HAPPY case? Nah, I still think not. For now. I still hold the belief that in the end, the good man will triumph. But then, one may ask, what constitutes a good man? Who and what marks the line that differentiates between good and bad? Perhaps it is best to leave that question alone and focus on what is there that really need changing. Does the problem lies in me or the outside world? But as said by someone else, it is hard to change the world so it is better to change myself.

How good can a person be? and how good should I be?

I like to make people happy. Making people happy seems to be an innate trait in me. I tried to anticipate and went on to accomplish actions that will make people happy. Seeing others being happy is a reward that is good enough for me; but suddenly it drawn to be that perhaps if I always do things for others than it will only make people expectations about me higher and taking me for granted. Suddenly it drawn to me: am I appreciated? It is not that I expect anything in return from my actions but hey, at least don’t take me for granted. And everyone likes to feel being appreciated. It’s pure simple human nature.

So from now on, please don’t expect too much from me. This is a statement I wish to make. I don’t have the responsibility to accommodate every one of anyone’s whims and fancies. From now on, I will only focus on doing things I am comfortable with so doing so don’t expect me to do things that I dislike. I need to draw the line somewhere. It is perhaps analogous to giving money to charity. I will give, I don’t expect anything in return, but than there is a limit on how much I can give. $1-10 dollars seems acceptable, but at my current level, $100-1000 seems an incredulous amount. And of course it also depends on what charity it is. If it is the one that appealed me, like children’s foundation, I tend to be more generous. Of course there will be accusing fingers of me practising favourism, but hey, that is human nature again.

Thoughts to ponder…
Life is about giving and taking. If someone makes you happen and do you a good turn, pass it on. Appreciate it, and then transfer the happiness to someone else. The kindness should not stop on you. So now, whoever is reading this blog, sit down and reflect, are you taking too much and giving too little from people surrounding you? If yes, you better change your attitude.

For those who know me, please ponder this question: 在你的心中，我占了什麼地位？[Translated: in your heart, what position do I stand?] Please think about it and tell me.