Sunday, September 10, 2006

Lessons from a Lion

In Malaysia, the Lion seen in Chinese New Year Lion Dances is a beautiful, magnificient creature. However, I had never seen this creature before in Melbourne until Malaysia's National Day last week. One look at the animal and the truth hits me square in the face. No wonder I had never seen one here! After a few generations undergoing the entire gamut of evolution and genetic material changes, it seems that the Lion here had metamorposize into this hideous looking creature.

-Before migration to Melbourne-

-After migration-

Oh my! If not for the accompanying 'dong-dong chiang' music I might never had realised that this was indeed a Lion.

This caused me to wonder what conditions here had such an adverse effect that so severly stunted the Lion's growth and disfigured its appearance. The cold and dry weather? The 'eat red meat' and BBQ culture? The 'drink till you drop' mantra? Or the Lion had a footy game too many? Australia do have a footy team consisting entirely of lions.

Since I can't pinpoint the actual cause for the Lion's disfigurement, I will call it Melbourne Induced Ugliness Factor-X or (MIUF-X) for the time being.

Anyhow, the moral of the story is, parents, don't try to send your children to study here. Because if you do, it will set up a cascade of events that eventually ended up in you have great-great-great grandchildren that suffer the same fate as the once-magnificient looking Lion. What cascade of events? Okay, first they study here. Then they love the culture here so much. Third they wanna migrate here as PR. Fourth they meet a nice girl/guy here and wanna marry. Then they give birth to your grandchild. And another. And another. Soon the family too big and they wouldn't have money to return home to their country of origin. So Melbourne became their adopted home. The Melbourne culture will then assimilate into their lifestyle. They will be exposed to the Melbourne weather and of course one of these contain the MIUF-X. Then they will go forth and multiply when they grow up. In the process, their genes evolved. The MIUF-X will ugly-fy them generation by generation..

So Moms, if you wanna your great-great-great granddaughter to have the Michelle Yeoh or Amber Chia look that you preceived you have now, don't ever send them to Melbourne.. Likewise for Dads who think they are Brad Pitt lookalikes...

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