Monday, September 04, 2006

Of Death and Friendship

A new dawn

September = Spring. Spring always have a positive connotation to it, bringing to mind a new beginning, a new dawn, of love, of joy and laughter, of fun and gaiety. Spring is of beautiful flowers, warm sunlight, singing birds and bumbling bees. In short, spring is the best season of all. For me the smell that encapsulate spring is the essence of newly cut grass. I think it is one of the nicest smell in the world. The aroma of grass is so refreshing and morale uplifting. It clears the mind and fills the brain with joy.

Death and dying

My mind seems detached from my body for the last few days. I can't think, I can't concentrate and I can just sit there with nothing on my mind. The creative juices start drying up and my brain lost the ability to think too. Suddenly became aware that my brain is getting lazy day by day. That day did an IQ test. The score: 126. Damn! Once upon a time its around 150. Help! is my brain atrophy-ing?!? How to repair a slowly malfunctioning brain? Or izzit that I been reflecting a lot about life lately?

Seems this week is filled with the death of prominent people. Today its Steve Irwin aka the Crocodile Hunter. Death by Stingray (suprisingly not Crocodile). Can't really relate to his death like Kim did coz didn't watch his show, only felt sorry for his children. They are still so young... However, one death that I felt real sadness about is the passing away of the Chief Monk of M'sia and Singapore, Reverend Dhammananda. He was indeed a person filled with humility and benovelence, kindness and wisdom. I will always remember his deep, resonant voice, and his kind smile. Last time I saw him was 2 years ago in Shah Alam. May he rest in peace.

Death seems to fill my mind for the last few days. Partly thanks to the book "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom. Was wondering which kind of death do I prefer (eventhough I know I couldn't choose) - slow death brought about by cancer or a rapid death like in a plane crash. In the end, I think I prefer a slow death, not because I want my family and friends to suffer watching me die, but I want some time to reflect my time spent of earth and maybe have some time to do what I always wanted to do but didn't do. I want to celebrate my life. Anyway, back to the book- it was a heart-warming book. Highly recommended by me. The part I like best is that it makes me aware how a simple human touch, such as a hug can means so much to someone.

The prefect Sunday

Always felt that the prefect weekend is one that is spent curled in bed reading a novel. Did that last Sunday. Read the book from the moment I woke up to late afternoon. The feeling is just so nice.

Back to life.. now knew time flies so quicky for me - it is because I always yearned for the weekends from Monday onwards. It was like Monday morning - five more days to Saturday... Tuesday, four more days to Saturday... didn't really cherish everyday. Now I have the ability to slow time down.


I was very touched by one of my friends on Saturday. He invited me to play badminton with him and even go all the way from his place to my place bring me there. It turned out that the badminton complex is only a stone throw away from his house.. and he spent 1 and a half hour going to my place and bring me back there. Wow.. I was left speechless. Juz like being touched by an angel. One of the little things in life...

And thanks to my friends in second year who always ask me to play basketball with them too..even though you know and I know that I'm not very good in the game.. and thanks for your support. Another one of the little things in life...

Left me wonder had I done anything for anyone lately? Had I brighten up the day of anyone out there? Had I make anyone feel good or feel better? Make me feel guilty, taking and not giving.. I am not a guy who express my feelings.. the typical chinese consevative breed with the stoic unfeeling outlook.. sometimes I envy those caucasians, who hug freely and kissed freely. I can't do that. It felt unnatural, not sincere. I want to change, but can't. Its too deeply rooted in me. However, I vowed to teach my children to be freely expressive. I can't change myself, but I sure can use my experience to teach someone to do it. But now, I need to learn to care more about others. I'm going to try to make someone out there happier this month.

Birthday dedication

Sept 5 is the 21th Birthday of my oldest friend, dear old Vincent Chong. Known him since Primary One (gosh thats 14 years ago? oh my..). Always the optimistic, vibrant and ambitious guy, hope being an adult drives you to more successes in whatever you do! Happy birthday!

Belated birthday dedication... yeah before I forgot, a happy belated birthday to my housemates in Cemara too... Chin Fei and Esjay. Will never forget you both hamka-chan(s)!! ^_^

Geez long post.. can't believe I started without any specific idea on what to write 2 hours ago..

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