Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Post exams...blues?

At last! Finished exams today after a long one month marathon.

I don't know why, after every series of exams I have this post exam syndrome. And I felt it again today.

First, it is the feeling of relief that the exams is over.

Then there is this happiness that kicks it when I began to realise that I'm really free from exams.
Then the brain says: hey you should party. Its over!

Then the problem starts. Coz suddenly it just felt so hollow.

Like hey I want to party. But there is just this emptiness.

Like the amygdala say: okay okay, lets party.

But the hippocampus say: party? wat is party? I can't remember..

After one month of rote learning all the materials that is examinable, seems that the concept of party got accidently deleted or replaced from my brain.

It felt like I forgot how to have fun after one month not having them.

It is like after being in prison for 10 years and after savouring the first moments of freedom, reality sets in and you start to think: what am I going to do next? Like you don't know how to refit into this world.

Or maybe the fun is not like the fun when you are having fun when you are not supposed to have fun, if you know what I mean. Like playing Dota yesterday morning and nite before today's exam. It was so fun. Forbidden fruit really tastes sweetest.

Perhaps there is a need to abolish exams after all. So that I don't have to suffer this post-exams syndrome.

But then... it means I can't enjoy the adrenaline rush I felt when I turned the exams paper to find out what is inside. Or the exhiliration I felt when I read the questions and knew the answers.
It is just like the Mastercard advertisement:

Poring over lecture materials for 6 times... 24 hours
Rewriting everything I remember down (hopefully identical to the lecture slides)... 36 hours
Turning over the exam paper and found that I knew nearly all of the answers... priceless.

Life's so contradicting.

Anyway enough whining. Time to start relearning the term party or fun. Happy holidays. ^^

1 comment:

youngyew said...

I always feel the hollowness after the exams, but I guess it's just the way I treat exams. I often feel relieved but not too terribly excited when the exams end. It is more or less related to my lack of self-pressure during exam preparation, I think.